I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
