Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
