i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
