Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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