k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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