don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
