I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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