ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
