hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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