I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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