the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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