You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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