I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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