the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
