He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
