Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
