If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
