He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
