I didn't shave. On purpose
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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