I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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