I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
