So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
