The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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