And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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