I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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