I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm like, not good at living.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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