That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
