there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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