is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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