Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
