the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize