He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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