I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
