we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
