Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
