Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
