why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
