this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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