Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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