from now on my penis is your penis
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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