You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you never un-have a 4some
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