are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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