So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
