I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
