um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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