i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
