Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
