Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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