woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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