I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
