oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
