Fuck appropriateness.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
