Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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