Is it because I queefed?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
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She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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