Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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