we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
