I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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