I'm going to jail i love you
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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