I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize