Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
