Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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