How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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