He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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