What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
