Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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